~ Nick Tolson ~ Viz, Private Eye writer...

26 mar 09: VICTORY FOR BRAVE SOLDIERS! Gordon Brown saluted 'a great generation of heroes' as he finally backed a campaign to allow the Taliban to have equal rights to hold victory parades and march through Britain's streets. OUTCRY AS HEWITT LEADS DRIVE TO ALLOW SICK & WEAK GOVERNMENTS END THEIR LIVES A campaign led by former Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt to put terminally ill governments out of their misery has been universally backed by MPs on all sides. "This is a very good idea being brought through the back door," said one supporter (cont. p94) 13 mar 09: NEW FEARS FOR JADE Friends of Jade Goody said they feared for the reality TV star last night, after rumours spread that former Prime Minister Tony Blair was preparing a tearfully insincere speech titled; 'She was, quite simply, the peepul's reality TV star,' and that Elton John was preparing an imminent release of a reworking an old hit of his - 'Goodbye Millwall's Rose' - w...