Cliff in Xmas single crisis
Click to read the text (if you can be arsed)
Posts
23 nov 09 stuff
THAT 'I'M A CELEBRITY, get me out of here...' LIST IN FULL: In order of importance Jordan - Britain's top glamour girl Katie Price - Britain's other top glamour girl Samantha Fox - Britain's top ex-glamour girl Jordan Fox - Britain's top amalgamated current & former glamour girl Some bloke who used to be someone's brother in EastEnders Someone who once waved at Cliff Richard's grandmother A woman A man Another man Someone who never met, but once lived next to the Uncle of the bass player in The Archies The presenters of 'How Not To Decorate' 'BRING BACK NATIONAL SERVICE FOR THE YOUNG' say everyone too old to be conscripted themselves BBC Head of Non-Entertainment complains that the image of Casualty and Holby City is being ruined by the 'hum-drum, everyday nature of the NHS''In a real hospital, you need a cliffhanger every 23 minutes, and this simply doesn't happen' says chief (cont. on pZZZzzzz) CHARLES DEFEND...
Nov 9th '09 stuff
DAILY MAIL: Will Afghan War cause house prices to fall? (moron p9) Other news: Afghan police 'full of corrupt idiots who fire indiscrimately'Ideal candidates for vacancies in The Metropolitan Police's firearms unit... (p9) Twitter to monitor popular tweet subjects The online social networking site is to appoint a regulator called 'The Twittfinder General,' who will check the most popular subjects commented on by the Twitterati, and organise instant mobs into a 'workable collective that can perform direct physical actions.' The Twittfinder General has extensive powers in his grasp, such as 'boring at the stake' and 'drowning in a stream (of invective).' He has already issued the following edict: "That anyone hereby known caught making national treasure Stephen Fry more depressed than he already is, will be hung, drawn and quartered and there heads displayed outside the X-Factor house until their flesh be picked clean by the birds. The sa...