CAN IT GET ANY WORSE? ... JAPANESE FLEE AS LENNY HENRY & COMIC RELIEF TEAM ARRIVE TO FILM GLOOMY FUNDRAISER

CAN IT GET ANY WORSE? ... JAPANESE FLEE AS LENNY HENRY & COMIC RELIEF TEAM ARRIVE TO FILM GLOOMY FUNDRAISER

First came the earthquake, then there was a devastating tsunami, followed by nuclear meltdowns and the possibility of radioactive discharge. Then rescuers and survivors alike shivered as the snows came, whilst authorities struggle to contain over-heating reactors.

Many have said it is like a bad Hollywood movie, but the usually resilient Japanese are now fleeing Tokyo and other major cities in mass panic, after learning that a Lenny Henry fronted Comic Relief team had arrived at Narita Airport, and were said to be 'desperate' to film some tragic scenes and save his career, which hasn't been remotely funny since he rhymed Thriller with Aston Villa in 1984. Henry and his cohorts have also threatened to provide live transmissions of some Richard Curtis inspired 'fun' on Friday evening.

Despite a rare TV appearance by Emperor Akihito, who told his people not to give up in the face of this latest Comic Relief onslaught and urged Henry to stick to making unfunny adverts for low quality travel inns, many foreign observers feel that the Japanese may suffer a collective nervous breakdown if they are forced to 'endure the unendurable' and watch hundreds of tawdry celebrities pretending to care about African children with AIDS whilst 'doing something funny for money.'

One local resident, currently living under tarpaulin in a snow-covered, rubble-strewn wasteland said: "We could bear the death, the destruction, the threat of nuclear meltdown - and the freezing cold. Through all that we have tried to remain positive, but I think the news that an insufferable comedian attempting to keep his unfunny career going by filming a searing piece featuring a child crying amongst the devastation - even if they don't have flies around their mouth - will finish me off."

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