p.eye rejects Aug 18th 2008







POINTLESS NEW FOOTBALL SEASON ANALOGY FILLER
Which spoon each team would be...?
MAN UTD - silver service
CHELSEA - solid gold
SPURS - solid gold plated
HULL CITY - plastic motorway caff continued on p94

THAT 'FIT & PROPER' PREMIERSHIP CHAIRMAN LIST ON FULL:

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TV CHOICE: Jonathan Ross Salutes Dad's ArmyIn this one-off special to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the classic show, self-confessed Dad's Army fan Jonathan Ross asks surviving 'members,' including Ian Lavender, Clive Dunn, Bill Pertwee and Frank Williams, if they would like to have sex with his wife, and wonders in a dangerously edgily sexy way whether or not Arthur Lowe ever got his cock out on set and waggled it around, shouting, 'Ivor Biggun, missus.'

HOUSE OF SADDAM - final episode 4 (featured in last week episode: At the Oil Baron's Ball:)J.R. Hussein: You're a loser Khomeini, you'll never beat me, ha ha ha...

An empty boardroom J.R. HUSSEIN, ceo of Hussein Oil sweeps in. At first he thinks he's alone. Then he spies his errant son in the corner...
J.R.: "My son, I am angry with you - why haven't the Iraqi football team qualified for the world cup?It is your fault. You must motivate them like a Hussein would - beat their soles, beat their children..."
Son (shouting, emotional): "...Dad! You've always put me down, always angry with me! Is it because I'm gay? J.R.: "No son. You are Uday." (NOT to be continued)

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