5th July 09
URGENT PRESS RELEASE FROM NHS DIE-RECT: HOW TO COPE IN THE HEAT generated by the media following Michael Jackson's death 1. STAY AWAY FROM HOT AIR of commentators and various 'I knew him so well' rentaquotes who have cash-in books coming out - AS THIS WILL MAKE YOU SICK. 2. Try to avoid THE SUN as much as possible. 3. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER. 4. DON'T take a dangerous cocktail of strong prescriptive drugs, 5. Er, that's 6. It... ALL THE HOTTEST NEWS FROM HOLLYWOOD... with Randy J. Bullshitorelli... "I can exclusively reveal through my sources inside the Jackson camp that Michael Jackson is STILL DEAD and is to remain so for the foreseeable future - which will make it VERY UNLIKELY that he will fulfill his commitment to perform in his upcoming 50 concerts this July in London, England... ...I can also exclusively reveal that Michael may have died from A NOSEBLEED - doctors frantically searched his $100 billion L.A. mansion for his nose - but it could not be fo...