Wednesday, 12 November 2008

10th Nov

TV TONIGHT: Shakespearean Play for TodayA woman who earns a living writhing around naked in fake blood and intestines complains of reputation being ruined…


Following the Brand and Ross scandal, a new regulatory body will be set up to monitor celebrity indiscretions. OFTWAT will make sure that any mis.. (cont. p94)

The Daily Mail: Has Jonathan Ross caused house prices to fall? On centre pages - A special investigation Does Russell Brand give you cancer?

Top 5 responses from viewers this week:
1. Brand / Ross lose jobs 35,4022.
2. Should Sachs be compensated? 23,0823.
3. Will Georgina Baillie get her own TV show? 11,7894.
4. Economic crisis 285.
5. War in Congo 2

'The BBC has lost touch with public' thunder politicians from yacht in Adriatric

WHO SHOULD BE THE NEW COMEDY CZAR?
Juliet Bravo?, Ian Blair, Boris Johnson??? Lord Archer, Sir James Anderton, Sir Keith Richards Sir George Lamb, Sir Larry the Lamb, Sir Pinky & Perky Mr Bill (& Ben)....
INDIA KNIGHT'S TOP TIPS ON HOW TO SURVIVE THE CREDIT CRUNCH
Tip No.1: Write a book full money saving ideas just in time for the lucrative Christmas market
Tip No.2: Do loads of interviews to promote the book
Tip No.3: Er, that's it!

President Obama's visit to Dallas 'doubtful'

U.S. reaction: Dick Cheney – "A sad day for venal, non-free thinking illiberal warmonger everywhere…" (cont. p94)

THE DAILY PLANET Death Star destroyed. Parties across the galaxy….

British grand prix driver not appealed against shock
Astonished 'World Champion' as foreign teams don't rake up some technicality

T5 VOTED THIS YEAR'S NATIONAL EMBARRASMENT
Prestigious award in hard fought category...
Highlights of this year's Top 100 cock-ups
1. Terminal 52.
2. Brand & Ross show
3. George Osborne (late entry)
4. Alistair Darling...
Continued…

27 oct stuff

27 oct 08:
SALES OF FOOD FALL FOR FIRST TIME
Has Prescott gone on holiday?

This week's most expensive cocktail: SEX ON THE BEACH (Dubai Mix) Cost: 6 months in jail.

"Government ministers are completely out of touch with the public," says George Osbourne from aboard a yacht in the Adriatric.

How violent crimes were recorded before...
GBH was termed 'apple scrumping'
ABH was 'knocking a bobby's helmet off with your catapult'
RAPE was 'assualt with a friendly weapon' that's enough...

BIG BUSINESS MAY INFLUENCE GOVERNMENT POLICY DECISIONS SHOCK
Bears consultancy with Forestry Commission proves constructive
Pope's long term contract with Vatican not influenced by Catholicism-That Lord Ashdown charity list in full:Children's charities (insert names of Lord Ashdown's children here)Conservative Central Officeer, that'sit...--

SPORTS NEWS: Driver who wins Grand Prix not disqualified shockAstonishment as winner actually retains result and keeps points (cont. p94) --

"LOOKING GOOD, FEELING SHIT!"
Probably Gok Wan on Kerry Katona's fabulous new look