Monday, 30 June 2008

more june 25th graphics




p.eye rejects June 25th 2008

THAT 2008-09 PREMIERSHIP
FIXTURE LIST IN FULL:

Sat 16 Aug Match 1:
tba vs tba (ko tbc)
Match 2: tba vs tba (ko tbc)
Match 3: tba vs tba (ko tbc)
Match 4: tba vs tba (ko tbc)
Match 5: tba vs tba (ko tbc)
Match 6: tba vs tba (ko tbc)
Match 7: L'pool vs tba (ko 17:00 SKY TV)
Sun 17 Aug Match 8: Arsenal vs tba (ko 14:00 SKY TV)
Match 9: Chelsea vs tba (ko 16:00 SKY TV)
Mon 18 Aug Match 10: Man Utd vs tba (ko 19:45 SKY TV)
...continues through to about Sat 24th May 2009

Copyright © and Database Right 2008[/9] Sky Televis... sorry, I mean The Football Association Premier League Ltd / The Football League Ltd / The Scottish Premier League Ltd / The Scottish Football League. All rights reserved. All fixtures subject to change* (*According to Sky TV)


Have you recently been 'totally DEVASTATED?

Suffered from... DISPLACEMENT of Ego?
CONFLICT of interest between club & country?
ANGER on the pitch? EXTREME reactions to trifling matters...?
Then don't suffer in silence. Join the MILLIONAIRE FOOTBALLERS SUPPORT GROUP
and we'll look after you...

JOINED-UP GOVERNMENT
Teenagers without bus passes to be imprisoned for up to 42 days

THIS WEEK'S MOST READ ONLINE:
1. Screaming gory headline
2. Sex death headline
3. Quick fix story of blood & death
4. Horrible rape headline
5. Rain hits Rooney wedding
6. Further tale of butchery satifies readers bloodlust
7-98. Readers appetites sated by death sex fetish fiend stories...
99. Bank sector in turmoil
100. Child survives cancer op
(c) all British people

RADIO 4 - TODAY'S CHOICE: All In The Mind
Dr Raj Persaud discusses the existence of plagiarism, and whether it is simply a fashionable, 'made-up' illness.

NEWS OF THE WORLD: 'What's it all abaaht??'
WHICH ROYAL WILL FART AT NEXT YEAR'S TROOPING THE COLOUR?
2-1 Harry, 4-1 Prince Phil, 5-1 Wills, 60-1 Princess Anne, 100-1 The Queen,
1000-1 Queen Mum

"BACK" story: It's traditional every year now for a Royal to fart their approval at the annual military spectacle, after Prince Phillip starting things off in 2006.
--

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Eye rejects June 2008

New P.eye issue features 'New modest look for Newsnight girls'
Join the debate:
ARE GREEDY FIRMS & GOVERNMENT BODIES RIPPING YOU OFF WITH COSTLY HELPLINE NUMBERS?
Tell us now:
RING 0870 100 YES for 'YES'
or 0870 200 NO for 'NO'
(Calls cost 400m Zimbabwean dollars / per min & terminate in Harare)

REALITY CHEQUE:
This week: Bank of England Governor, MERVYN KING
1. What is the price of a bottle of milk?
"Er, ...two English pounds?"
2. How about a loaf of bread?"
Hmm..."I'm not sure if I like this line of questioning.
3. How much is does a 2kg bag of Basmati rice cost? "
Right, that's it, this interview is over..."